A Ball of Sadness

I feel a ball of sadness now almost every day. I had this ball of sadness before. To be honest, I had it many times usually when I feel the pain of lies and deceit. Then old feelings like hurt, pain, anger, hate, loss, sadness, and confusions rolls up up the surface  like a snow ball but it makes a monstrous looking  snow woman.

I want these balls of sadness to melt away. I know it won't go away completely because it is part of life.  But the same people continue to give it to me. I can't understand why I can't forgive. I guess I am looking for a satisfactory  answer that I will never receive. I can't accept lies and deception for selfish-gain and momentarily gratification on my expense.

I have all these positive things in my life that I call my blessings. However, the deceivers want to invade my space that brings this ring of circles. I tried to add the math....2 + 2 = ....but it manages to equal a -5.

After feeling a week of despair, today, February 8th, 2011, my truck got hit by a van as I was waiting to turn into my job site. After realizing the blessings that I received because the accident could have been worse. The lady hit the back of my truck trying to go around me, then she hit the guardrail then almost hit a car in the other lane and managed to stop. Her son hurt his head and her infant girl was still asleep. This accident made all the the ring of circles of life's disappoints just disappear.