I try to see the "good" in people but it is hard to see the light of good when some people carry a black heart.
It wears me out that I have slowly become holding this dark feelings that the dark hearts loved to share with me.
It has been extremely hard for me to move forward without feeling that I may hurt people on the way.
My dark lustful ways have taken over in my dreams that I cannot control. It has become a deep desire that would not be acceptable in the reality. It will only cause pain and deception. It is sinful and immoral. That is something I refuse to be. Or maybe it is me.
It is hard to love and to believe. These do not exist any more. If I began to believe in love then it becomes a dark trap in me. It may feel like "everything" but it eventually falls into "nothing" because I see the world differently with a large eye in the center of my forehead. I see this world in my dreams. People, places, lovers, children, friends.....but mostly....me... (continue...maybe)
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