I am tired of waiting.
I am tired of people.
I am tired of struggling.
I am tired of comforting words.
I am tired....resting forever awaits.
Monday, September 2, 2013
Saturday, June 22, 2013
June 22nd, 2013
It should be a day of happiness.
For whom...for you....
June 22nd, 2013
It is a day of joy and enlighten of your true yourself
Smiling as you reach for the shining star to convince yourself, is this true
It may be....or may not be
But the darkness will fall on your fairytale
Because your lies and betrayal began on this day
God is watching with sadness.
Devil is rejoicing with happiness
Because you stopped looking for the "forever", and found "happiness" next to you
Which is actually an illusion of a unhappy person's mind
Let the darkness begin......
For whom...for you....
June 22nd, 2013
It is a day of joy and enlighten of your true yourself
Smiling as you reach for the shining star to convince yourself, is this true
It may be....or may not be
But the darkness will fall on your fairytale
Because your lies and betrayal began on this day
God is watching with sadness.
Devil is rejoicing with happiness
Because you stopped looking for the "forever", and found "happiness" next to you
Which is actually an illusion of a unhappy person's mind
Let the darkness begin......
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Family Curse
I look at him every day. I think to myself, "Why would anyone want to abandon him?"
Is it fair to him that he was born to selfish-parents?
Is it fair to him that he was born to stubborn parents?
But here he is living with our burdens that he may return to the family that he has been planning.
But you have no excuse. You lived the pain and suffering of an abandon child. And this is what my son gets after giving his unconditional love since birth.
His unconditional love has been there for 10 years that has been traded for a conditional love of 3 years.
Now his unconditional love has become conditional hate for you and her. I won't break his mind of your betrayal.
You don't deserve to be called, "dad, father, parent, or buddy".
You will only be a lying husband to your insecure-broken doll wife.
Keep her family tight in your clutches, because your real family is gone from your life.
Because you will be the end of the family curse.
Is it fair to him that he was born to selfish-parents?
Is it fair to him that he was born to stubborn parents?
But here he is living with our burdens that he may return to the family that he has been planning.
But you have no excuse. You lived the pain and suffering of an abandon child. And this is what my son gets after giving his unconditional love since birth.
His unconditional love has been there for 10 years that has been traded for a conditional love of 3 years.
Now his unconditional love has become conditional hate for you and her. I won't break his mind of your betrayal.
You don't deserve to be called, "dad, father, parent, or buddy".
You will only be a lying husband to your insecure-broken doll wife.
Keep her family tight in your clutches, because your real family is gone from your life.
Because you will be the end of the family curse.
I WILL SURVIVE
I
have been a single parent most of my adult life.
I didn't ask to be, but God knew it had to be. He knew my spirit is too free to allow a man to control me.
I had many opportunities not to be, because my spirit controls me.
I am not mad that I am.
I hope those find happiness, because I decided not to return to you after many regrets.
I have none.
I have the two who makes me want to be the best single parent that God wants me to be.
I didn't ask to be, but God knew it had to be. He knew my spirit is too free to allow a man to control me.
I had many opportunities not to be, because my spirit controls me.
I am not mad that I am.
I hope those find happiness, because I decided not to return to you after many regrets.
I have none.
I have the two who makes me want to be the best single parent that God wants me to be.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
LEVELS
In our life, we experience different levels of life. There are some levels we reach, it makes sense. It could be a broken heart being healed, so we become stronger even though we open it up again just to shatter the healed parts.
However, we move throughout these levels with knowledge, power, and strength.
But there are a few levels in our life, we have no idea how we got there. We can analysis and discuss it. We can go to counseling for it. There are no answers. We can blame our past. It is so easy to do. But we can't blame it anymore, because we moved up or changed in the levels with a reasonable or unreasonable explanation.
It could be a level of spirituality. It brings a numbness that is presented as a cold presence. Matter of fact, it is a warm being but it moves the emotional imbalance that causes so much physical and pain throughout the levels of life. It could never be healed because it has already been healed. The warmth comes from being on another plane and seeing the people in it as the being that we are truly.
However, we move throughout these levels with knowledge, power, and strength.
But there are a few levels in our life, we have no idea how we got there. We can analysis and discuss it. We can go to counseling for it. There are no answers. We can blame our past. It is so easy to do. But we can't blame it anymore, because we moved up or changed in the levels with a reasonable or unreasonable explanation.
It could be a level of spirituality. It brings a numbness that is presented as a cold presence. Matter of fact, it is a warm being but it moves the emotional imbalance that causes so much physical and pain throughout the levels of life. It could never be healed because it has already been healed. The warmth comes from being on another plane and seeing the people in it as the being that we are truly.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Bitch Loves The Bitch
You are a b***h. But your man is the better b***h.
I found an old card throwing out my trash which include any memories of the torture years of lies. Here is the biggest lie ever.
" Thank you,Christmas, for the kindness, the compassion, and the spirit of giving you inspire.
Thank you, Christmas, for the peace, the joy, and the hope that born each year.
Thank you, Christmas, for the beauty, the wonder and memories yo leave in our hearts.
Wish you peace, joy,love...all the greatest gifts of the Season, Merry Christmas" ~06'
In his words "The best mother a guy could ask for, Thank you for always being there for me. Thanks for being the greatest mother in the world to my " ". Regardless of which paths we take in life, I will always be here for you, you will always be in my heart. Thanks your for some of the best years of my life. Love always " ".
The biggest lie he hasn't made any effort to be the best father to his " ". But he is up your ass crack like all the other women. He may not have learned to be a good father, but maybe he will learn to be faithful since that isn't in his nature. Or maybe he can be faithful since no woman can tolerate an arrogant asshole. Only weak women like you can.
Throwing away all the past trash. Good Riddance.
I will always have the first love of his first.
I found an old card throwing out my trash which include any memories of the torture years of lies. Here is the biggest lie ever.
" Thank you,Christmas, for the kindness, the compassion, and the spirit of giving you inspire.
Thank you, Christmas, for the peace, the joy, and the hope that born each year.
Thank you, Christmas, for the beauty, the wonder and memories yo leave in our hearts.
Wish you peace, joy,love...all the greatest gifts of the Season, Merry Christmas" ~06'
In his words "The best mother a guy could ask for, Thank you for always being there for me. Thanks for being the greatest mother in the world to my " ". Regardless of which paths we take in life, I will always be here for you, you will always be in my heart. Thanks your for some of the best years of my life. Love always " ".
The biggest lie he hasn't made any effort to be the best father to his " ". But he is up your ass crack like all the other women. He may not have learned to be a good father, but maybe he will learn to be faithful since that isn't in his nature. Or maybe he can be faithful since no woman can tolerate an arrogant asshole. Only weak women like you can.
Throwing away all the past trash. Good Riddance.
I will always have the first love of his first.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
The Understanding
I try to see the "good" in people but it is hard to see the light of good when some people carry a black heart.
It wears me out that I have slowly become holding this dark feelings that the dark hearts loved to share with me.
It has been extremely hard for me to move forward without feeling that I may hurt people on the way.
My dark lustful ways have taken over in my dreams that I cannot control. It has become a deep desire that would not be acceptable in the reality. It will only cause pain and deception. It is sinful and immoral. That is something I refuse to be. Or maybe it is me.
It is hard to love and to believe. These do not exist any more. If I began to believe in love then it becomes a dark trap in me. It may feel like "everything" but it eventually falls into "nothing" because I see the world differently with a large eye in the center of my forehead. I see this world in my dreams. People, places, lovers, children, friends.....but mostly....me... (continue...maybe)
It wears me out that I have slowly become holding this dark feelings that the dark hearts loved to share with me.
It has been extremely hard for me to move forward without feeling that I may hurt people on the way.
My dark lustful ways have taken over in my dreams that I cannot control. It has become a deep desire that would not be acceptable in the reality. It will only cause pain and deception. It is sinful and immoral. That is something I refuse to be. Or maybe it is me.
It is hard to love and to believe. These do not exist any more. If I began to believe in love then it becomes a dark trap in me. It may feel like "everything" but it eventually falls into "nothing" because I see the world differently with a large eye in the center of my forehead. I see this world in my dreams. People, places, lovers, children, friends.....but mostly....me... (continue...maybe)
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